Charlie's Ramshackle Race Team... In Theory

I have an idea.  I want to go racing.  There are some nearby events that would be a lot of fun to attend, but they involve a crew and more money than I currently have to invest in this.  There are the two annual Chump Car events at Road America along with other days where for $300 and tech inspection you can do practice laps.  Down in Joliet, IL, they have a 24 Hours of Lemons race.  I forget if it's once or twice a year, but it'd be fun to join in and experience it.  There's Grid Life over at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI, which although it's not a cheap car ideology, I think my concept of a race car would fit in fine over there.  They're a kind of racing and music festival with a good deal of camping going on, and it sounds like fun.  I'm pretty sure Chump Car and Lemons also race there.  I'm currently unaware of any other road racing within a doable driving distance from home, but I try to keep my ears open just in case.  There is, however, plenty of places to autocross, and this intrigues me very much.  While this is more of a solo race, I would still be able to let other guys in the team take turns driving it.

Could be a lot of fun.

We know where I want to race, so why not get on with the what and the how already?!  I mentioned in a previous blog how is like to build a Fiero Kart along the same concept of Roadkill's Vette Kart, but I was thinking about it the other day, and realized that if you find a good looking one and strip it carefully, you could make it Lemons legal which automatically makes it Chump Car legal.  If I can find one that's solid underneath and has good looking body panels and interior, I should be able to sell the body plastic and interior to refund the purchase price of the car and probably even pay for the steel for the roll cage.  The only other thing I'd need to be careful on when selecting the car would be to make sure it has the good Getrag 5-speed.  The trans and subframe would likely need to be bolstered a bit to compensate for what I want to do to it, but that shouldn't be too bad.

Look at how light that would be and how quickly that could move.

The rules impose a fairly strict budget.  Chump Car simply says a vehicle with a market value of $500, but Lemons says only actually spending $500 with the ability to sell parts to recoup costs and stay on budget.  I would like to upgrade the brakes, seats, wheels, and tires because they don't count in the budget for the rules, but there is one thing that I'd change that would be a possible penalty worth taking.  This thing would be a rocket with a small block Chevy swapped in, and you can get those motors for dirt cheap.  The beauty of this is that it's so light and nimble, I could install the junkiest barely running 350 or even 305 and it'd still have enough power to really move on the track and be a contender.  In fact, it would be better to have a junk motor because then there's less likelihood of crashing do to spinouts or over driving it.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to eventually rebuild it and make some better power, but the point is learning the car and you don't need that much power because of the weight.  Eventually, when I'm done with Lemons and Chump Car and want to stick to autocross, I'll put a suspension in it, and then it'll really handle well.  That's further down the road though.

Something like this would only be a starting point.

That's all well and good, but the rules state a 4-6 person driving team.  Here's where the plan gets good.  I know some guys who would be more than likely interested in being able to race cars on the weekend if only they could afford to, but between families and other monetary obligations, they simply can't afford the money or the time that you would feel you need to put in to make the investment worth the money.  On the other hand, you can get a Fiero on Craigslist pretty often for under $1000.  My goal is to find a solid, good looking Fiero that doesn't run for as close to $500 as possible with the possibility to go lower always appreciated.  Then I want to convince these guys that this is a good idea and we should all pitch in $100.  I'm also looking to find a good 305 or 350 for under $200.  Once the guys are onboard and the car is purchased, we'll go about stripping the interior and body and selling it on Craigslist or eBay to refund our purchase to reinvest into roll cage, brakes, tires, and whatever else we'll need.

See?  They let anything in

If we can keep it at that $100/team member, that'll be awesome.  The only other thing would be splitting the entrance fees and fuel costs of each event and getting them to all commit for at least a season, which is really just three events.  It should be a doable investment of both time and money, and if they decide it was fun, but I'm done, we can always buy them back out at the end of the season.  I'm not sure how many seasons I'd want to do Chump Car and Lemons, but when we're done, I really want to go autocross racing with it.  That'd be fun.  Now I just need to find my team.

We want to go racing!

He said, "take my picture."  How could I say no?

Fiero Kart

It's no surprise to anyone that I miss my Fiero.  That thing didn't last very long, and for how many decades I'd been wanting one, it is definitely not out of my system.  Those things are really fun to drive and can be made to handle really well.  I also have this bad idea about using a Fiero to one-up Roadkill's Vette Kart.  I also like Mad Max cars and autocross... Separately.  Then I saw something that put it all together for me.

I need another project car.

This is a Fiero that has shed its body in the pursuit of being a kit car.  But look at it!  That thing with a cage and some different tread and a better motor would be a killer autocross car.  Not only that, but it would fit perfectly into my motorsport fantasy where I would buy a cheap car, prep the chassis, enter it in Lemons and Chump Car, and modify it until it gets disqualified.  Then I can do road course or autocross and have a sweet race car that I could probably drive to work sometimes.  I only live an hour from Road America, there are groups that run autocrosses in Milwaukee, it'd be hilarious to take on Power Tour, and it'd be a riot on twisty backroads.  I just need to find a clean car for cheap.

Doesn't this look like the Fiero of the apocalypse?!

This one too.

If I was going to do this, I'd want to do it right.  While the removal and sale of body panels would pay for the car and increase our Lemons budget, the addition of the roll cage would literally outweigh any kind of weight reduction you would've been hoping for.  The 4-cylinder is really only good for gas mileage, and the stock 6 is a dog.  If I was building a modified Fiero GT (with a body), I'd go with a 3.8 GTP motor because they're great in every aspect, but this car is crazy, so why not keep it that way?  They always say a 350 bolts right up to the bellhousing on the Getrag 5-speed; why not just use that?!  Even the most used up junkyard 350 will be too much power for this car.  It would be hilarious to autocross this with a turd of a used V8 just to see how well it'd do and how mad people would be if you won.  The fact that you can use huge sticky tires will help keep it going the right way too.  This could be a rocket.

This was an interesting cage concept I found.

So the plan is all figured out, I just need an extra grand and a couple good Craigslist scores.  This needs to happen, and I need to take it to Summer Nationals and Roadkill Nights and pit it against the Vette Kart to see if it's a better choice of platform than theirs.  Gotta have goals, and it pays to have fun ones!

Roadkill's Vette Kart.

What could be the Fiero Kart

Autocross: The Great Equalizer

There are many different ways you can build a car.  Shiny or rusty, SEMA or Symco, stage rally or road course, they all are trying to achieve a goal.  Often people want more power when they build, and while power is fun, they don't always add it in a usable way.  I've seen plenty of cars with added power and either too poor of tire or too lame of suspension to get that power to the ground and do something with it.  It seems to me that of you spent thousands of dollars on a fancy engine, you would want to be able to enjoy the power it can make in more ways than a burnout (not to discount the juvenile joy of burnouts; I love those too).  If only there was a stage on which you could drive your car enthusiastically and enjoy it without fear of hitting other competitors or going off into a ditch or wall and ruining your museum piece of a car.

Because that would really suck.

But wait!  There is!  Autocross is a wonderful type of racing that puts you at odds with the clock and yourself with nothing to hit but cones.  Normally autocross races are held in large, unused parking lots.  These big flat areas have nothing to drive or off of and seem to be the safest way to enjoy an expensive build quickly.  The cars basically do individual time trials and try to speed up every time they go.  It's supposed to be a race against yourself, but I always find a couple of cars I feel I should be able to do better than.  I mean, it's never worked, but you gotta have goals, right?

This guy was really getting after it, and that was surprising to see with a car that expensive.

This thing you could tell was built for this.

My absolute favorite part about autocross is that it doesn't matter what you bring just as long as you're there.  This is the kind of racing where a $600 beater with the right modifications can hang with expensively built cars, especially the ones that are a little too much form over function.  It doesn't matter how good it looks so long as it's fast and corners well.

No.  This guy was not fast, but he had fun.

This shows a good cross section.  My friend is finishing his run with his stripped out V6 5-speed Camaro while a first gen Monte Carlo and a fast third gen Camaro are waiting to run.

Of the few times I've participated, my favorite "underdog" story I've seen was the kid in the late '90s 4-cylinder 5-speed Ranger that was slammed on sticky tires.  I said, "I'm sure I can beat him. I've got twice the engine!"  Unknown to me was the fact that those Rangers have plastic fenders and hood and a fiberglass bed and his suspension seemed pretty dialed in.  My best was a 39-second pass, his was 34, and the quickest car there was 29.  It's all about the right modifications and knowing how to best use your vehicle.  Then the next year he V8 swapped it, but if I'm honest, I think he needs to change his front spring rates because it leans more now.  It's still really quick.

This was after the V8 swap.

I wish I lived closer to where these events happen because they always start so dang early, and I'd be leaving the house at around 6am to get there in time for the driver's meeting and walk through.  Maybe when my car becomes more competitive I'll be more enthusiastic about the early mornings.

I don't have the right car, but it sure is fun!

#BecauseRoadkill&MCM

I just watched the Roadkill episode with Mighty Car Mods... for the second time... in two days.  If there's one thing I can take away from that video as an absolute truth, it's the fact that those cars are super cool.  I'm just about speechless looking at them, and I'm really good at endless talking.  As is the case with many Roadkill vehicles, I'm jealous and want one for myself.  That, however, presents a small problem.

The hardest question is, "which do you like more?"

The Subarute is legitimately jaw-dropping and inspiring, but I don't want to recreate it.  Why, you ask?  Two reasons come to mind; originality and brand.  I have always wanted something personal, something I've put my stamp on, something that reflects the fact that it's mine.  I don't want a '69 Mustang Mach 1 (yes I do) that's stock (no I don't) and looks like right out of the brochure because it'll be sub-par in the performance category and it'll look like eight others at a car show or cruise night.  I want cars that say, "this is Charlie, and he built me to be perfect for him."  In the spirit of that concept, I wouldn't make my own Subarute (however tempting that may be).  I have been considering what other cool compacts I could do that to though.  I also have never owned a foreign car, and I have a pretty solid rule that I can't afford maintenance on a Subie.  It seems that perhaps a gen 1 Focus ZX5 might be a good candidate, but it could just as easily look stupid, so I think I should play it safe and just do it to a Bronco II or a 2-door Jeep Cherokee XJ... but those aren't anything near what they did.  Guess I'm not doing it.

This is pretty much Subaru perfection

This is basically Comanche perfection because it's an XJ

This brings us to the second sweet ride in the show, the '69 Impala.  They shoved that big block with the Weiand 8-71 blower into a poor, "little" '69 Impala coupe, and it was a riot to watch.  This has revitalized a flame I've had deep down for thirteen years now.  I very much want a '72 or '71 Galaxie or LTD 4-door hardtop in the glorious triple green.  I've missed out on two of these for sale for Charlie money when I should've bought them.  The first one made a huge impression with the perfect killer stance and a set of slotted mags and raised white lettered tires and no exhaust.  I pretty much want that with a slightly tighter suspension and a built drivetrain.  I've been debating what motor, but I'm pretty sure a yacht that big would love a 460 and an overdrive automatic from a late '80s rwd F-350 that'll bolt up to it.  I just want a sweet, old school daily driver that can light the tires and glide effortlessly down the highway.  Other than mileage and availability, I'm not seeing a downside!  At some point in my life, this car will happen.  Someone hold me to that.

This is everything that is right with the world.

I don't know why either.  Something is wrong in my head.

I love Roadkill, and I've seen a good deal of Mighty Car Mods, but together, they seem like a good fit.  I'd love to watch more of both of them, together or separately.  The real stand outs are the cars, in my opinion.  I love the vehicles they built and the fact that they're so over the top with parts hanging out and just random awesomeness.  This is the inspiration sometimes to find a new project and get it on the road and drive it for enjoyment and not as a pretty museum piece.  Concourse show cars have their places, just not in my driveway.  Speaking of which, I feel the need to go rip Aussie-style burnouts down that driveway.  G'Day!

But seriously, go watch this:  #BecauseRoadkill

Armadillo

As you know, I'm a big fan of full-size cars and wagons... and full-size wagons.  There has been one model of wagon that has intrigued me for quite a while now, but I've never owned it.  That wagon is the '93-'95 Buick Roadmaster wagon.  I was shopping around for one, but between the price, milage, and look, I opted for my first Crown Vic.  (Brand loyalty may have also had a role in that decision, but those wagons hold their value like Subarus!)  Something about those wagons pulls me in every time.

You may not remember when this happened...

...or this, but I do.  I was 17

Now for some wagons that further my point.

They CAN be cool!

You're probably wondering why I named this post Armadillo.  Back when I was in high school, my uncle was talking about how one of the people he worked with thought those wagons look like great big armadillos driving around.  We agreed, and the name kind of stuck.  It's also pretty funny to see the reactions when you call them that.  Come to think of it, it'd be pretty funny to paint one gunmetal grey and get personalized plates for it.  "ARMDLO"

Well, you get the idea...

You're probably also asking yourself "why a Roadmaster, and not an Impala SS?"  While the Impala makes more power and is desirable as a collector car, the Roadmaster is something that can be customized without ridicule for changing a limited production model.  I also don't really like the Caprice sedan body, and I'm not a fan of paying collector car prices.  If I found an SS for $1500, yeah, I'd probably buy it and fix it up, but I'd probably sell it for Roadmaster money.  After all, the Roadmaster is a wagon!

Yes, they made a sedan, but that's beside the point.  Why?

Because wagon!

Or I could always Caddy clone it

I've looked for Roadmasters to buy in the past, and I'd had thoughts on how to build them.  I always told myself I wanted one with a 350 because why would you buy one with its achilles already severed?  Then there was the thought of doing a big block swap.  I could build a Roadmaster 454 SS, although it's a Buick, so I supposed it'd have to be a GS.  If you did a 454 swap though, you'd have a lot of weight (yes, you'll have this regardless), no room to work in the engine bay, and big blocks always seem to cost more to build (granted, I come from a Ford background and haven't really looked into costs of building a 454).  It seems to me like keeping a lighter engine in the front will offer a more balance weight distribution.  I know it's not a Miata, but I also know what I like to do with my cars.  I want seven things out of my cars, in this order; handling, good ride, torque, loud pipes, reliability, haul my drum set, and moderate fuel economy.  I've only had one car that didn't haul the drums (Fiero, but it wasn't my only car, and it was super fun), but most of my other cars have either checked all those boxed or steps were taken to make the boxes get checked.  Why should a full-size wagon be any different?  Heck, if I can make a Crown Vic Autocross, why can't I do the same with a Roadmaster?!

And to think, you thought I wouldn't find a picture of a Roadmaster on a race track.  Ha!

The other great reason to buy a Roadmaster is because road trips are still a thing.  As often as I can, I love to hop in my car and just blast down some two-lane roads with the tunes playing.  My Vic was great on Power Tour in 2015, but I kept seeing older wagons and about 15 Roadmasters on tour.  Every time I thought "that's the way to do it."  The beauty of driving a wagon is it fits all your friends, all your gear, and all your beer with ease and comfort.  There's so much room in those big, old wagons, you could almost pick up hitchhikers on your way too!  They've got space, style, and are still rockin' a V8 and rwd.  They're pretty much the ultimate road trip vehicle.

Tell me how that doesn't scream open road

Especially when you throw on a camper

Wagons are perfectly practical vehicles.

Now to the meat and potatoes, here's my idea.  Everybody's talking LS swap, LS swap, LS swap, and you know what?  They're not wrong.  You can get LS motors for cheap, and you can get parts to make them work in anything for not that much more than the motor costs.  Some people do the 4.8, and most people do the 5.3, but in a big bodied wagon like this, I say go big with the 6.0. The newer gen IV motors claim 345 hp and 380 ft-lb stock!  Just think what you could get with some mods!  It seems like with some porting, a can, and some better air flow both in and out of the motor, I bet 500 hp wouldn't be that much more of a stretch, and just think what could happen with a turbo or a supercharger.  It would be a disservice to keep an automatic behind that potent of a motor, and in the spirit of road trips, I'd opt for a 6-speed.  I'd also get rid of the air ride rear suspension and get some nice moderately stiff springs all around that would also lower it an inch or so.  All that's left is rims, tires, pipes, and paint, and you'd be hittin' the road!  I always imagined mine as being that eggplant purple they came in with some woodgrain flames, but that's just my strange idea.  Then again, isn't that what this page is all about?!

Drawing courtesy of Julie Stitt

Camper Van: The Next Frontier

When you were in high school, you were more than likely trying to find ways to break away from your parents and school and be independent.  You wanted to go off and find your own way, blaze your own trails, and choose your own path.  You wanted to be your own person and find out who that really was.  You wanted freedom to run your own life and face the choices you made, and when you turned sixteen, freedom came to you by way of automobile.  Nothing says first tastes of freedom quite like your very first car.

While this was technically my third vehicle, it was the first to run and drive.  Bought it in 2005 when I was 17 for $500.

Whether it was bought, given, inherited, earned, or even loaned, nothing had given you the kind of freedom a car did.  You probably had quite a few miles on that old Huffy, but you'd match it in a month with your new wheels.  Your car became an extension of yourself.  You were suddenly untethered.  There was nothing keeping you from going as far as your wallet and your gas tank allowed.  Nothing said good day quite like a full tank, a V8, a couple friends, a cooler of Mountain Dew, and the open road.  Livin' life one mile marker at a time.

I learned that if you leave the hubcaps off, they can't self-eject and get lost.  Plus, it adds that Nascar look.

Life was good, but then you graduated from college.  You've got a job and debts, an apartment and bills, an economy car and soul-crushing stereotypical expectations to live up to.  You're tied down in your current position, locked down in your status.  You'd love to quit your job, but you're stuck there because it's hard to match or beat your salary with just starting pay.  The fun has been sucked out of your life, and you're quickly becoming that crabby, old boss you had as a teen that made you always wonder how someone could be such a buzzkill.  You can't help but think about how you got here, where you went wrong, and how you can somehow get back some of your youthful inhibitions and reclaim some of your freedom.  Then it hits you...

... like the brick that it is.

You quit your job, move out of your apartment, and buy an Econoline.  You're gonna go live in a van!  A camper van is really the only way to experience the same kind of freedom as your first car once you're older and tied down.  Living in a van can be very inexpensive.  It's also very liberating to thin out your stuff to just have the things you need.  If you can pare down to only stuff that fits in your van, you could ditch your house or apartment and not need to pay that rent or mortgage and upkeep.  Even if you need a storage unit, you'd save a lot monthly by not having to pay for housing.  Some people will quit their jobs and find little jobs as they travel or just have a job that you can do remotely.  I'm not sure how they find these "road jobs."  That really intrigues me.

A van for every terrain.

The big thing with owning a camper van is that you can drive it wherever you want and park and sleep wherever your heart desires.  Imagine waking up in the wilderness of Colorado, California, Canada, or Alaska and popping the doors open to see the amazing views from your bed.  It really gives you the opportunity to inexpensively see the country only having to pay for gas and food instead of hotels, flights, and rental cars.  If you're near a small camp ground or truck stop, you're even more in luck because they'll have showers you can use for cheap.  Or just find a lake!

Just look at how cool that is!  And easy to maneuver too.

I want to get a camper van so I can inexpensively see the country and maybe even the whole continent.  I have these trips I want to embark on and photo excursions I'd like to experience, and I always find myself thinking about the logistics of getting there, lodging, funding, and getting out of work.  If I didn't have to pay for lodging, and I had low enough overhead that I didn't need a job or could find freelance writing or photography gigs that could fund me a bit, I could probably make that work and bail on the "normal" life.  I'd love to run away in an '80s Econoline, and I keep finding more things that could help to make that possible.

So much win here.  I dig the slotted mags and the bubble windows.

I would have a somewhat basic setup in my van.  Mechanically, I'd find a 6-cylinder van and swap in an overdrive automatic and some taller gears for better highway mileage.  Aesthetically, I really want a cool blue metal flake with bubble windows, a strobe stripe, black roof, and dual sunroofs, but that might stand out a bit in urban areas at night.  But I don't want a turtle top.  As far as making it habitable, I would add the bed and a counter/desk area, and I'd try to work in a small fridge, convection oven/microwave combo, induction hot plate, and a docking station for my laptop that would include an aux input to the stereo in the van (which would have a dual zone type of speaker setup).  Under the bed, I'd have storage, as you'd expect, but I'd like to find a way to fit my camp grill and lawn chair too.  As far as power goes, I've recently been made aware of a really cool battery/power station product (check it out) that has a battery and inverter with different outlet options on it, and you can add solar panels to your roof etc to recharge the battery in the power station.  That alone could make the van far more self-sufficient and have a much higher range than it would if I had to plug in every night.  I need to see if there's the option to add more batteries to the circuit to have higher power capacity because I'd love to be able to run things for a few days without having to worry about power consumption or overcast skies.

I wouldn't go too crazy inside.  This seems pretty decent to me.

This one is also very cleanly built inside.

The one in the back had my same idea about the dual sunroofs.  One for while you're driving, and one to look up at the night sky as you drift off to sleep.

I'm starting to think that a van is really the right answer for my Alaska trip, but it would also enable me to do other fun excursions.  I'd like to take more pictures of urban industrial areas at night, and there are some in other cities that really seem to call my name.  I want to make a photo book of the port of the Great Lakes both in Canada and the US by circling all five lakes.  There's some great, classic highways I'd like to drive and write about.  It'd be great for driving to cool car shows or events, especially if I get into professional auto journalism (which I want to do).  I could power my lights for taking cool car pictures.  I'd really love to be able to get out and drive where the wind blows me and experience more of what Americana our country has to offer rather than just up in the Midwest.  I could really go places if I had a van and some gas money.

I'd have to leave the wheels and chin spoiler off until I got back from Alaska.

In the end, if you're feeling stuck in your job or your situation in life, think about the things you want to do with your life, and will avian help you achieve those goals?  I say, "yes," and with that, I'll add, "do you know anybody with a cheap, stubby Econoline for sale?"  Then I'd just need gas money...

Looks like home.

This guy built an addition on his rolling home.